Kate Miller 15: Guacamole Revolution

For all you avocado lovers out there...

15. Guacamole Revolution (Feb 2013)

            Kate was mortified. What on earth had happened? All these years she had been consistent. She had been honorable. She had tried the avocados and had always found them lacking. She was the first to admit that she liked liking things…but after twenty-six years of not liking something, even after trying it periodically all along…this was, essentially, treachery.

As of two weeks before, in her pregnancy, Kate had not experienced any specific cravings. In fact, it seemed that she still liked all the foods she liked before, though some had been demoted from “candy-like” to “tolerable” –even foods that most people didn’t like at all in their first trimester, like smoked salmon or coffee. She still liked both, though she had been a little ashamed about her apathy when she and Mister had pulled out some salmon earlier in the week. It was understandable, considering how quickly she was forced (by her sense of smell) to run through the seafood department at the grocery store. But at least she still liked eating it!

Then there was Super Bowl Sunday. They had gone to a party at another couple’s apartment to watch the game—but mostly to take part in the amazing snacks. Kate and Mister perched on stools behind a couch, with Kate conveniently close to the chips and dip. That was when all the trouble started. To start off, she stuck with the chips and salsa, knowing her predisposition against avocado-infested guacamole. But sooner or later, she knew she would have to take her obligatory bite, just to confirm with herself that was still justified in saying she didn’t like avocados. But before she even thought about it, she was taking seconds! And thirds!! She was truly relieved that the food was stationed behind most other people and wished that this scary inconsistency in her nature would resolve itself before it became apparent to anybody else.

Ah, but wishes rarely come true. And even though Kate led a charmed life stuffed with a surprising number of fulfilled wishes, this wish was not granted. Here she was, one week after the game, sitting not at the back of a crowded room of people focused on something else, but at an intimate dinner table, where everyone could see everything she ate! And there, on the table, were enchiladas, chips, salsa, and…guacamole. Kate eyed the green mixture with the curiosity one has for something delightful and forbidden. At the same time, her heart sank. What if she liked it? What if she liked it even more than a couple weeks ago? Would she still be the same person? What would it mean for her identity to shift from an avocado hater to an avocado lover? What if it became an insatiable craving…how would she pick out avocados at the store? She didn’t know the first thing about ripeness or peeling or slicing or preserving. What if….?

She sat tensely, laughing at everyone’s jokes, making comments on the morning’s sermon, desperately trying to hide the internal crisis at hand. She passed plates and bowls, and served up a little of everything, even (or especially) the guacamole. But she put off tasting it. She ate her enchiladas. She drank her San Pellegrino. She ate her rice. Finally, she dipped a chip into the guacamole and raised it to her mouth. She heaved a deep sigh. She knew she was sunk. The guacamole was irresistible.

What was worse was that there was no hiding it. Mister watched her with a smirk on his face as she helped herself to seconds. And when she got up to refill the guacamole bowl, Mister explained to everyone at the table about her identity crisis and her previous life as an avocado hater. Everyone at the table grinned cheerfully. They were all avocado lovers. Is this what is happening to me? Am I joining a manic club of avocado lovers...like Apple users? Will I become an avocado ‘user’ that roots for everyone else to love avocados? She left the question behind and looked at the pile on her plate.

“Could someone pass the chips down here, please?” she asked.